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Wednesday, December 24, 2025

I Teach College Students How to Argue With Their Families

Good advice for the classroom, too:

…Few things can calm a savage heart like being genuinely listened to. Keep listening. Ask constructive questions. No reactions, not yet. Unless the speaker has a political psychopathology going on (which, in the current environment, is not as rare as it should be), he will soften. His voice will modulate; he'll stop sweating.

Now, finally, it's your turn. Speak your piece. Be detached, genial, even kind, but say what's on your mind. Prefix fraught opinions with a simple qualifier. "I might be wrong, but …."

I might be wrong: It's simple to the point of banality, but in my experience, highly effective.

Prepare by doing research. Do some reading. Be respectful. If you can create a rich, humane conversation, you may learn something. As Emerson says, "Every man I meet is my master in some point, and in that I learn from him."

https://www.nytimes.com/2025/12/24/opinion/jacques-lacan-holiday-arguments.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share

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I Teach College Students How to Argue With Their Families

Good advice for the classroom, too: …Few things can calm a savage heart like being genuinely listened to. Keep listening. Ask constructive q...